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Ignatius D'Lusional

[ website | All That Is Good In The Eyes Of The Wise ]
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Birfday Again! [Jun. 25th, 2008|12:40 pm]
[mood | accomplished]

So yeah... tomorrow is my 27th birthday. My Golden Year (having turned 26 on the 26th of June last year) has been pretty... well... shitty, I guess. The day after, I lost my job at Thrivent, I was unemployed for 5+ months, got engaged because I felt pressured by others to make a commitment, turned out that H was not ready for me, and I broke it off. A lot of record lows, you might say... deeper into debt, made some mistakes, had a few stumbling blocks.

BUT... I'm looking back on it as a new beginning. At this point, things can ONLY get better and I can ONLY rise further from these low points. I'm now single, I'll be moving to Appleton in less than a week. Everything is pretty well set, and things are going really well so far. I'm EXTREMELY excited about all the new things that are going on... new friends (female ones too!), new apartment in a new city, new companion (Sprinklemist/Lucy is coming with me!), and a new beginning in general. I'm really happy with my life right now, even though I'm a little stressed out with moving and all that... I'm happy in a way I haven't been in years!

Anyway, for those that are reading this... wish me luck! Donations are accepted! But mostly, just give me your good vibes if you have a little lying around. Pray, cast a spell, meditate, whatever you do... just send a little positive energy my way. If you know me, you know I'm generous enough with mine that you'll get it back tenfold! :-)
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A New Hope (or) The Disengagement [May. 22nd, 2008|06:37 pm]
[Current Location |Oshkosh Public Library]
[mood | artistic]

OK, I'm going to be brief and non-descriptive right now, because the last thing I want to do is make any kind of disparaging or offensive remarks about anybody. Suffice to say that I am no longer engaged, that it was primarily my decision although it was initially mutually agreed upon. This breakup has been been amicable and a little hard, but I feel it was inevitable.

Anyway, long story short, I am now single and moving to Appleton mid-June in order to be closer to work and hopefully meet new and interesting people. I'd like to meet some interesting women in particular, and as much as I'm the kinda guy who has a tendency to jump into a relationship with someone, I'd like to stay single for a while now. I've gone essentially from one long-term relationship to another with just over a year as a buffer period. So yeah...

I'm excited about living by myself for the first time as well. Never really did that before, and I can't wait to have all of my time to myself so that I can work on hobbies and other things I've been putting on the back-burner for so many years. Now is the time to shine. Now... there is a new hope.
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Free Music, Legally? [Jan. 28th, 2008|02:15 am]
[mood | hopeful]
[music |WHATEVER I WANT, BITCHES!]

Can this be for real? Is it finally going to be legal to download music for free?

I saw this headline on the DrudgeReport just now... "FEEL FREE TO DOWNLOAD ALL THE MUSIC IN THE WORLD - LEGALLY...", and I thought, "No way, not ever." But, this article seems legit and the agreement seems plausible.

The full article:

From today, feel free to download another 25 million songs - legally

After a decade fighting to stop illegal file-sharing, the music industry will give fans today what they have always wanted: an unlimited supply of free and legal songs.

With CD sales in free fall and legal downloads yet to fill the gap, the music industry has reluctantly embraced the file-sharing technology that threatened to destroy it. Qtrax, a digital service announced today, promises a catalogue of more than 25 million songs that users can download to keep, free and with no limit on the number of tracks.

The service has been endorsed by the very same record companies - including EMI, Universal Music and Warner Music - that have chased file-sharers through the courts in a doomed attempt to prevent piracy. The gamble is that fans will put up with a limited amount of advertising around the Qtrax website?s jukebox in return for authorised use of almost every song available.

The service will use the "peer-to-peer" network, which contains not just hit songs but rarities and live tracks from the world?s leading artists.


Nor is a lack of compatibility with the iPod player expected to put fans off. Apple is unlikely to allow tracks downloaded from its rival to be compatible with iPods, but, while the iPod is the most popular music player, it has not succeeded in dominating the market: sales of the iPod account for 50 million out of 130 million total digital player sales. Qtrax has also spoken of an "iPod solution", to be announced in April.

Qtrax files contain Digital Rights Management software, allowing the company to see how many times a song has been downloaded and played. Artists, record companies and publishers will be paid in proportion to the popularity of their music, while also taking a cut of advertising revenues.

The Qtrax team, which spent five years working on the system, promised a "game-changing" intervention in the declining recorded music market when the service was presented at the Midem music industry convention in Cannes.

The singer James Blunt gave Qtrax a cautious welcome. "I?m amazed that we now accept that people steal music," he said. "I was taught not to steal sweets from a sweet shop. But I want to learn how this service works, given the condition the music industry is in."

Qtrax, a subsidiary of Brilliant Technologies Corporation, has raised $30 million (?15 million) to set up the service, which is available in the US and Europe from today. Allan Klepfisz, president of Qtrax, said: "Customers now expect music to be free but they do not want to use illegal sites. We believe this . . . has the support of the music industry and allows artists to get paid."

Ford, McDonald?s and Microsoft are among the advertisers signed up to support what is thought to be the world?s largest legal music store. The service says that adverts will be nonintrusive and will not appear each time a song is played. As with iTunes, customers will have to download Qtrax software. They will own the songs permanently but will be encouraged to "dock" their player with the store every 30 days so it can gather information on which songs have been played.

Jean-Bernard Levy, chief executive of Vivendi Universal, said the crisis in the music industry had been overstated despite EMI?s radical cost-cutting. He said: "Look at Universal - we have double-digit profit margins. But we would like strong competition from the other major record companies to help the industry grow." Universal has poached the Rolling Stones from EMI and Mr Levy said that others could follow as thousands of staff and artists are made redundant.

On the appearance of Qtrax, Mr Levy gave warning that the lack of compatibility between competing digital music players was as big a problem as file-sharing. And Paul McGuinness, the manager of U2, said that the sound quality of MP3 downloads was becoming an issue for bands and fans. "There is a growing consumer revolt against online audio quality," he said.

-Adam Sherwin, Media Correspondent, in Cannes


So, what do you think?
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Time to Get a New Watch [Jan. 19th, 2008|01:44 pm]
This is something that happened to me on New Year's Eve, which I think is interesting enough to warrant writing about... I've just been too busy to get to it till now.

A few years ago I bought my last watch from Eastbay, through Paully. I know it was before Heidi and I met because he gave it to me while I was attending a wedding party of one of his relatives as a guest, and I brought Martha along as my guest... so it's been about 4 years now. Anyway, over the years I've experienced an annoying glitch with this watch (it's digital by the way, because I abhor analog clocks... but that's another story). When it gets bumped in just the right way, it would reset itself to the factory default time of 12am in 2001. Odd, right? Well, this was about to get even stranger.

Fast-forward to New Year's Eve, 2007. Heidi and I are partying over at Kate & Gutter's new house along with Blair, Kristine (Gutter's new girlfriend, with whom I worked at the Respite House), Griz, and Sean (Rufus/Bignuts). I'm feeling pretty good, just a little drunk... and then the countdown. I take a big gulp of wine and the night starts to get blurry from there. Come 2-3am, everyone is getting ready to retire, when I notice that my watch has reset itself again, and I don't remember bumping it! So, half-passed out on their fold-out couch-bed, I try drunkenly to set the correct time on my watch... but every time I press the + button, it resets again!!! I try for a couple of minutes to set the time, but to no avail... it resets EVERY TIME I try to change the minute!

So, my watch officially died on New Year's Day, 2008... just hours into the new year. Is that a sign or what? I chucked the damn thing in the garbage and I've been struggling to live without a watch ever since. I don't like it... I've got a new watch on the way, though. But the coincidence of my watch dying on New Year's is too strange a coincidence to be ignored, especially since during the wee hours of that morning before we all went to bed, I was proclaiming 2008 as "quite possibly the best year of our lives" and toasting to it. To new beginnings, to a better life... and then my watch dies!

Which, of course, brings to mind an old joke which is most appropriate here:

What time is it when your watch dies?
Time to get a new watch!

Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!
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12 Steps 2(6x) [Dec. 11th, 2007|09:00 pm]
[mood | contemplative]

I'm now near the middle of my 3rd of 4 weeks of training at my new job. It's in Appleton, right next to the airport, at a company called Convergys. I'm doing some Tier 1 tech support for a relatively new TV/Internet/VoIP package from AT&T called "U-verse"; similar to what Time Warner Cable is offering, except that their infrastructure is primarily fiber-optic to the node (FTTN) and the TV is streamed digitally (IPTV) rather than analog through cable. It's not a bad service, actually... despite some limitations inherent in the technology they're using.

Basically, I'm doing low-level computer support and equipment troubleshooting. Power-cycle the modem/router, power-cycle the receivers, this is how you connect through Wi-Fi... that sort of thing. It's not very challenging, but I'm getting $10.80/hr starting, plus shift differentials on the weekend. It's full time with pay-in benefits, and it's NOT a contract through TEKsystems, which is a major plus for me!

On a separate but related note, I'm seriously considering going back to college. Maybe next fall, if I'm more financially stable by then. I want to go to UW-Oshkosh for a Bachelor's Degree in Commnunications, maybe a minor in English. Then someday I want to build on that and get my Master's in Philosophy or Sociology. Ultimately, I think I'd like to be a college professor ni the fields of philosophy, comparative religion, and/or sociology. The idea of teaching others a subject I feel passionate about is so appealing and exciting to me, I would be a fool not to pursue it! This could very well be the calling I've been waiting for, and I think that teaching and writing may be the most satisfying career path I can strive for!

Essentially, I've realized that even though IT is a field I feel comfortable with and could support myself with, the job market is too saturated and I have other passions I'd rather follow. My IT background will serve as a launching pad for my career and help me get through college (REAL college this time!) so I can try to chase my dreams. Wish me luck!
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Love v2.0 [Oct. 29th, 2007|11:50 am]
[mood | satisfied]

Yesterday was very interesting. My mom called because she heard from my Grandpa that Heidi and I had broken up... I hadn't told them the news just yet, but was going to yesterday or today. Anyway, I told her it was totally over and she was sad because they like Heidi a lot and everything seemed right with us. Well, soon after I talked to Mom, Heidi broke down and said she regretted letting me go. We had a long talk about things, and I decided to give her another chance. I need to keep improving as I have been, but another thing has changed, and we feel it will make things work.

We have decided to make this an "open relationship". Polyamory... swinging... whatever you want to call it.

This is a concept that I've been toying with for a while and in the last few weeks have come to terms with. She can't handle monogomy, and if we're going to make things work between us, we have to allow for adventure... we don't want things to stagnate. My problem with the concept has always been that I felt like nobody else would be interested in me, so it felt unfair. However, I've recently come to the realization that I am, in fact, a charismatic and desireable man. So, as long as I'm able to pursue my own interests, I'm OK with sharing her... even though she then has to come to terms with sharing me. She knows she will be jealous, and that shows that she really does love me. It's very strange and confusing for us, but we feel as though this will allow us to continue our otherwise amazing relationship.

So, we're back together now. Hopefully for good... we have such great communication, I know we can make this work. Wish us the best!
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The End of an Era [Oct. 28th, 2007|11:08 am]
[mood | determined]

Ever since Heidi broke up with me 3 1/2, almost 4 weeks ago, I've been trying desperately to move on from that relationship, but to little avail. The main stumbling block is that she has occasionally given me affection of some kind or another, or verbally expressed doubt that breaking up is something she could continue with. She gave me just enough hope in our relationship to keep me convinced that there might be a chance of reconciliation.

I've made real progress weight-wise (dropped from 360lbs in the beginning to 340lbs) which I plan to continue. I also started on anti-depressants (Zoloft) and so far haven't noticed any specific improvements, though I do feel slightly more self-confident... I just kinda need to take it and run with it... I've been stuck in "downtrodden mode" for so long now, it's my default; so once I get out of that I'll be good. I still haven't found a job, but I've been applying wherever I can and continue to make efforts in that vein. All in all, I'm doing better and I've made considerable progress toward the goals she set for me. Unfortunately, it now seems that even if I do reach those goals it may not have any impact on us getting back together.

So, yesterday I sat down with Heidi and hashed things out. I couldn't let things linger this way any longer. Evidently, she did genuinely think that we might get back together at some point... but not anymore. She has a much better idea of what she wants out of life and out of a partner, and I don't really fit the bill anymore. Honestly, I agree... the things she wants I just can't provide her because it's just not who I am. Plus, now that she's on anti-depressants she's feeling confident and wants to get out and see what's out there. I can't blame her for that. So I asked her if there was any chance that we'll get back together, and she gave me the answer I needed to hear... "No. I'm sorry."

We talked things out... we cried, we hugged... we expressed that we loved each other, that the good times were really good, and that we hope the best for each other. It was very amicable, and I feel like if I never see her again I'll have all the closure I need to start fresh, unburdened by loose ends. We just co-signed the lease for another 8 months, but I told her that as soon as I can get a job and afford to move out that I would, she can have the place and the cats. So my main priority right now is getting a job so I can do that.... and moving on.

I'm back on the market for real, ladies! Nate is back in action! Watch out!
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where did you sleep last night? [Oct. 14th, 2007|03:34 am]
alone
helpless
confused
betrayed
worthless
furious
frustrated

at the end of my rope
i dangle
swaying where the wind blows me
helpless against the wind
frustrated at its direction and my inability to make sense of it
furious at my inability to counter it
confusion, the wind twirls my lifeless body in circles
one way, till it dies down and i unwind
the unwinding  careening me carelessly,
i cannot see a way down
from this wicked noose
from the inevitibility of my demise

do i have anything left to give
to her?
to the world?
to myself?

burned out, smoldering
worthless embers and ashes
not even enough to warm
spent
totally and completely spent

if i picked up the pieces and tried to put it back together,
it would never be as it was.
was it always broken anyway?
was it ever whole?

do i have enough pieces of my own to go on
to try again?
what is left of me that i can salvage?
unsalvageable... burning wreckage

what is left but the end?
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Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes [Oct. 4th, 2007|01:42 pm]
[mood | determined]
[music |David Bowie - Changes]

I'm about to head over to my parents' house, where I will live for the next couple of weeks. I drove them to the airport this morning, and they're well on their way to Australia right now. I'm charged with taking care of their puppies and generally house-sitting. Should be... fun.

Heidi was supposed to come and stay with me there. But a few nights ago, after a terrific evening of hanging out with friends and generally being happy, we had a minor argument about agreeing never to buy soda again (which I opposed) and she later told me that we're breaking up. The main thing is that over the last 3 years that we've been together, I haven't been doing enough to lose weight, and she's embarrassed to be with me. This is, I suppose, understandable. I want to lose weight, but I've been making very little effort toward that end. So, since I've been so reluctant to change, she wants to move on. She still loves me, she says, but she just can't be with me anymore. Needless to say, I'm heartbroken... and mostly in a state of denial.

I refuse to let her slip through my fingers. Now is the time for change... I know I've said it before, but lately I've actually been making progress. I need to break old habits, and living away from my home and from her will force me to make some lifestyle changes. I've already lost 5-10 lbs, and I'm determined to keep it up. This is too important to ignore any longer. I just hope that I change quickly enough to save our relationship from the brink of destruction...
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One-Week Contract [Sep. 23rd, 2007|11:46 pm]
[mood | anxious]

Tomorrow morning I begin working a one-week contract for TEKsystems, installing computers in a new office which I believe will be owned by Northrop Grumman. I've never done a job like this, but it seems like something I'd love to do for a living. I'm very comfortable with the physical aspect of computers. I more or less understand how to code programs in the most basic sense, but a lot of the internal electronics and stuff still seems like magic and wizardry to me. I love networking, and have a very good understanding of it, but network hacking I still don't have a handle on... which may be a good thing, right?

Anyway, new job is just a week long, pays $17/hr, and should hopefully be 40 hours or more. It's the first actual job I've had in about 3 months, so I desperately need the money... but damn... I wish I could land a REAL job that paid that well. Something's gotta happen soon, right? Right?
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Superiority (Plight of the Ubermench) [Aug. 23rd, 2007|11:34 am]
[mood | high]
[music |Muse - Supermassive Black Hole]

Men feel superior simply because they are striving to be superior, but this exaggerated confidence leads to arrogance and foolishness; whereas we are all fools just as much as any other man, or woman for that matter.

The problem is that men who are striving for superiority, whether through means that are physical, mental, spiritual, social, or otherwise, are likely to adopt an air of superiority whether or not they have achieved the goals they are supposedly striving for. The quest is enough for them, and this unearned air of superiority is hoisted above head for all to see, leading everyone else to immediately be lowered under the "uberman's" level. Of course superiority is power and life is a struggle for that power.
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Stephen Colbert... Discordian? [Jul. 27th, 2007|04:33 pm]
[mood | amused]

Over the last couple of days, I've watched The Colbert Report and noticed blatant homages to Discordianism and/or the Illuminatus Trilogy. I'm working on downloading the episodes so I can perhaps show these examples as proof.

I believe the first one was the 7/24/07 show with Anthony Romero as the guest. At some point in the show, I believe it was at the end, he did a bit about the Illuminati, and expressed his interest in joining them, during which he said "EWIGE BLUMENKRAFT!" This slogan is the passphrase for entrance into the Illuminati, as given in Wilson & Shea's "Illuminatus! Trilogy". Pretty awesome, no?

Then, today I caught his 7/26/07 episode with Robert Schrum as the guest. He did a piece about giving advice to the gods, and afterward held up a Golden Delicious apple and there was a picture of Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera, to whom he said something like "You're all pretty, and I could never choose among you." These two references within days of each other lead me to believe that either he or someone on his staff is a Discordian or is aware of Discordianism and/or the Illuminatus! Trilogy. More later, once I get a video clip cobbled together.

[edit: After tinkering around with video editing, I realized I have neither the tools nor the patience to put anything together of this nature. These episodes are available on TVTorrents.com, so check them out if you're interested.]
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Happy 4th of July! (Belated) [Jul. 5th, 2007|08:47 pm]
[mood | amused]

Wow, what a week. So a week ago my job ended, my Golden Birthday was celebrated, Heidi and I got new phones, and I got a new tattoo:


It was important to me that I get something with the Golden Apple tattooed on me, since it was my Golden Birthday, and I always wanted a Sacred Chao tattoo... so I got 'er dun!

Last Saturday, Heidi's parents (Alice and her husband Max [not Heidi's father]) came to Oshkosh to visit. We picked them up around 2pm in Milwaukee, which is like a 1 1/2 hour drive from Oshkosh. They met my parents that night, then Aunt Deb & Crocket, Grandpa & Joan, and Gutter & Kate the next night. All went pretty well. On Monday, the 4 of us went walking around downtown Oshkosh, checking out the shops and whatnot, giving our guests a good taste of the Oshkosh charm. [editor's note: for some reason, I was thinking the word "charm" but wrote "shame" instead, then quickly corrected it... interesting slip-up, eh?] I took Max to our local comic book shop, we checked out the local head shop (Satori Imports) and went to a thrift store I didn't even know existed. Heidi found a ring there she really liked... then we went to Terry's Bar for some awesome Elk/Emu/Buffalo burgers... had a good 'ol time.

Anyway, that night Heidi and I went to the Roger Waters concert at Summerfest in Milwaukee, bringing Kate and her friend Corey with us. The concert was fantastic! He played songs from "The Wall", "The Final Cut", "Wish You Were Here" and some solo stuff. Then... the second act... "Dark Side of the Moon" in its entirety. What a show! As I understand it, he doesn't come to Wisconsin very often, so this may end up being a once-in-a-lifetime events for us... especially exciting for Heidi, as Pink Floyd has been a major part of her life since childhood. But yeah... great show!

Tuesday started off cool... we didn't have any definite plans, and my mom was free, so she picked the 4 of us up and we all went to Appleton. I took Max to the Houdini museum because he expressed interest in it, and the ladies went bead shopping. How exciting... eventually we got back to OshVegas, at which point Alice and Max went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for Max's moussaka recipe. It's kind of a mediterranean version of lasagna, but with cinnamon and eggplant. Max cut the eggplant a little too thick, so it didn't cook all the way through, but otherwise it was pretty good.

During the preparation of the moussaka, Heidi and Alice got into a bit of a row, and Alice ended up treating Heidi like a child... totally disrespectful and ultimately pretty shittily. By the time it was all over, they were pretty much avoiding each other completely. In fact, Alice was so pissy about it, she decided to look for tickets to leave the next day, and that's exactly what they did. That night, Heidi was so upset I encouraged her to try to sort things out with her mom before she left. Her mom actually laughed in her face when Heid insisted on talking about it, and that upset Heidi to the point where she told her mother she was never welcome in her house again. The way she acted, I totally support her decision. Nobody should have to tolerate being disrespected in their own home.

The next day, I was woken up at 9:30am by the sound of bagpipes. Yes, bagpipes. The Oshkosh 4th of July Parade apparently comes right down our street, so I got dressed and hopped on down in time to see my grandpa roll by in his 1933 (?) Model A car. Max came down and talked with Heidi and I, but Alice stayed upstairs. Max (like most guys would) refused to take sides and stayed out of the whole conflict. After the parade, Heidi and I got ready for Summerfest again, because we had tickets to see TOOL that night, at the same ampitheatre we saw Roger Waters on Monday. We drove Max and Alice all the way down to Milwaukee, dropped them off at the airport, and breathed a sigh of relief.

After another hour of driving (in the same goddamn city) we managed to find the Summerfest grounds (which was probably only 4 miles from the airport) and spent the day there. Saw some good ska bands, bought some crap, and generally had a wonderful time without a care in the world. It was kinda like this:


Here we are on the SkyLift.

That night, we got to see TOOL perform... and OH MY GOD... it was the MOST AMAZING rock show I have ever seen IN MY LIFE! It was intense! At times beautiful and trance-like, then loud and bone-crunching. There were giant projector screens, smoke, light, and lasers. These pictures don't do any justice, but here's an idea of what it was like.




Again, it was quite easily THE BEST rock show I have ever seen. In concerts in general, it was second only to Cirque du Soleil. Fucking brilliant. I hope I get to see them again someday. It was WAY better than fireworks... seeing TOOL on the Fourth of July was perfect. I will never forget this 4th for the rest of my life!
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Terminated (Happy Birthday To Me?) [Jun. 27th, 2007|11:36 pm]
[mood | crappy]

Today I bought cookies before work and brought them in for my co-workers, as is the traditional birthday thing to do at Thrivent. I felt good. Yesterday was awesome, as my post stated. People were in a good mood. Everyone thanked me for the cookies. I had a decent day at work. Got stuck on a long call at the end of the night, ended up working 20+ minutes overtime. Then, just as I was leaving the parking lot, I got a call from my TEKsystems recruiter.

Yeah, it was "that call". My contract had ended. Happy Birthday, indeed.

Jamie (my recruiter) told me that it was due to budget constraints, and it was true. I was aware of the budget problems, and just last week 3 other people had been let go, 3 more just the week before. Somehow I doubt that I was the only one let go today. But that didn't make it any easier. She said that of course it was nothing personal, that they didn't cite any sort of shortcomings on my end, simply that they had to cut down on their contracted staff because of low call volumes, due to the normal summer lag. Still... didn't make it any easier.

Now I'm unemployed, again... and I've got bills. Heidi's parents are coming to visit for a week, they're arriving in Milwaukee on Saturday. Heidi said they wouldn't think any less of me; it wasn't my fault at all. I believe her... they're good people, they like me, they'd understand... but it makes me feel............. worthless. Not having a job deprives me of self-worth. Not all people feel this way, some people are just burdened by their jobs, but not me. I need to work to feel as though I'm worth something because otherwise I'd be a burden on Heidi.

So.

I need a job.

Quickly.

Next week is my final paycheck, and it'll probably be less than like $150.

Anybody need a Network Administrator?
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Golden Goodness [Jun. 27th, 2007|10:51 am]
[mood | happy]
[music |Ramones - Surf City]

Hey hey hey! Yesterday was my Golden Birthday! That's right, 26 years ago I was born on June 26th (1981) at 6:26pm. Let me say that again. I was born on 6/26, AT 6:26pm. Now I'm 26. I think that's pretty goddamn special. I've always believed that the synchronicity in my birth date/time has been... I dunno... an indicator of my greatness? I mean, all modesty aside, I am pretty great, right? :-)

Anyway, yesterday was just as great as a birthday can be. I got to hang out with Heidi all day, I got a tattoo of the Sacred Chao on my left calf (I'll probably post a pic once it's healed), I got some awesome videogames (God of War 2 for the PS2 and Lemmings for the PSP, both from Heidi), I got over $100 in cash from relatives, I'm gonna be getting a RAZR phone, I got to eat some awesome Chinese food with my parents, I got to see Wolfmother in concert (they rocked the house!!!), and I got to have a few drinks with Paul and Beth (my cousins were "too busy" to come out for a drink, apparently). Oh, and Beth arranged for both of her brothers (Sideshow and Sugarbear) to call me!!! Beth is the greatest!!!

Yeah, all in all, it was an awesome day... no cake, no ice cream, no balloons, no clowns, but hey... friends and family, and great gifts! Anytime I envisioned my Golden Birthday in the past, I envisioned a giant bash with everyone I know, and all of those aforementioned things. But that's not how things went, and I still couldn't be happier!

So hey, a big THANK YOU to everyone who made my birthday great, and thanks for having me in your life. I am a happy man, and that's saying something. :-)
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When I'm drunk I want to fuck you. [Jun. 10th, 2007|01:34 am]
[mood | drunk]

When I'm drunk, I'm rarely sure that I can even perform sexually, yet my inhibition goes out the window and I feel as though I should be entitled to sleep with whomever I wish. Does the inebriation strip me down to who I really am, or does it put me in a state where I act and/or think in a way that I normally wouldn't, and is that in any way different from how I really think or...

Jeepers, drunken logic sure is crap.

Alcohol fuels lust yet dampens logic and whatnot.

Maybe I'm just posting because there's been a multi-month lull between the second-to-last post and now. Maybe I just need to spill some beans.

Lust.

Lust pure and simple, should be regarded as basic and therefore acceptable. Suppression only leads to frustration.

Lust is such a primative emotion, it's easy to satisfy it because the standards for satisfaction are incredibly low. Maybe that's what makes it so fun.

Good night, computer screen, keyboard, mouse... snoring lady in the living room. Thanks for the drinks.
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Electro Light [Jun. 5th, 2007|01:16 am]
[mood | high]
[music |Fake Shark-Real Zombie! - Monday Tuesday What The Fuck?]

I think it would be fun to be an electrical engineer. I just wish I knew how to be one. Maybe I should go back to school and get a BA in that sort of field. Of course, I rather prefer to get the type of hands-on teaching like you get from FVTC. I wonder if it would be possible to do something like that.

I think being someone who knows how to make electronics will be very valuable in the future. I mean... it is now, but... yeah.

Might be interesting to dabble in, at least. I think I had a science set when I was a kid... with a circuitboard... hmm....
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Science Fiction Double Feature [Feb. 7th, 2007|11:12 pm]
[Current Location |At my... computer?]
[mood | crazy]
[music |BrĂ¼ce & Lily - "2 Kittens Fighting"]

I Got A Wallet: Hey, Paul. You think this is safe? :-)
my spoon is too big: hmmm
my spoon is too big: could be very nice...did you see the 20g one he also has for sale?

I Got A Wallet: I'm just thinking, someone would buy that and be totally ingnorant about computers... think they get a great deal. They don't have to install the OS or programs or anything, it's good to go!
I Got A Wallet: Then BAM! Everything they do on that computer is being watched, it's a zombie in a botnet, and this guy is just pumping out pre-loaded laptops left and right.
I Got A Wallet: Soon, the zombieputers are everywhere, but nobody knows *where*.
I Got A Wallet: But the answer... is right under their noses.
I Got A Wallet: *DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!*
I Got A Wallet: Night... of the Zombie-bots

my spoon is too big: i'm not familiar with the zombieputers issue
I Got A Wallet: SHHHH
I Got A Wallet: There's no botnet.
I Got A Wallet: The first rule of botnet is there is no botnet. You do not talk about botnet.
I Got A Wallet: Oh no, wait... that's Usenet.
I Got A Wallet: Or was it Fight Club?
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The Story of Nate and his Flat Tire. [Jan. 11th, 2007|10:50 am]
[mood | creative]
[music |Oingo Boingo - Violent Love]

One night (this Monday, in fact) Nate left work at 9pm and went to his friend's house to trade some CDs and be social. At 11pm he was on his way home and suddenly noticed that he was only able to drive straight if his steering wheel was cocked to the left. Nate thought this was rather odd, and decided to pull over at a gas station to have a look. He pulled up to the free air pump and just as he suspected, his front right tire was totally flat.

Nate had noticed over the last week that his tires were getting low on air, but had put off filling them up because he was "too busy" to do any minor maintenance on his car. Nate was always "too busy" to do minor maintenance on his car, because Nate had no interest in becoming greasy and smelly by touching car parts... he had more preferable ways to become greasy and smelly.

So, Nate decided to fill the flat tire with air. The air stayed in the tire. Nate decided that since he used the gas station's free air, he should at least buy something from them... it was the nice thing to do. Nate bought a frozen pizza and some soda and returned to his car. He got in, started the car, and noticed that he was terribly low on gas.

"Well, as long as I'm here I might as well get some gas", Nate said to himself. Nate often talked to himself, even when there were other people around him. This creeped other people out, but Nate didn't mind being creepy.

Nate pulled around to a gas pump and started pumping gas... but then he noticed a strange hissing sound. He quickly determined that the sound was that of air escaping from his newly inflated tire! Grinning sheepishly, Nate re-entered the gas station, paid for his gas, and purchased a can of Fix-A-Flat to fix his flat. Nate already had a can of Fix-A-Flat in his trunk, but since it was 29 degrees outside, the contents of the can were frozen and therefore useless.

Determined to fix his flat, Nate went out to his car and read the directions on the can. Nate tried to follow the directions, but when he stuck the nozzle of the can on the tire's inflation valve and pressed, nothing happened. He pressed harder, and he heard a hissing sound, and he thought the Fix-A-Flat was fixing his flat. Unfortunately, the foamy goop in the can started spilling and spraying all over the ground and the tire. His flat was not fixed at all. However, Nate supposed that some of the goop got into the tire, so all he had to do now was drive over to the air hose and inflate the tire again. He got into his car and started turning around the gas pumps, when he noticed that the driving was getting bumpley and that there was a sound of metal scraping against cement coming from outside of the car.

Nate rolled down his passenger window and yelled to a person getting gas at a pump, "HEY! IS THIS TIRE ALL FUCKED UP???". "YEAH!" said the person at the pump. Nate knew this was not a good sign, not a good sign at all.

Nate got out of his car and looked at his tire, and indeed, it was all fucked up. Really, really, really fucked up. The tire was not really on the rim anymore, and the rim was on the ground. Nate realized there was only one thing to do; call AAA! But first, he called his girlfriend Heidi to tell her that he would be late coming home. She offered to come out to the gas station and keep him company while the AAA-approved towing service arrived. Heidi was a great girlfriend.

Heidi arrived in a few minutes, and after talking with Nate for a while she closed the door to her car which was running, so that they could sit inside and stay warm while waiting. Unfortunately, she locked the door. So, Nate and Heidi were stuck outside in the freezing cold, with her keys locked in her running car. They both thought it was funny, but only for a little while. They decided to go inside the gas station to warm up and wait for the truck to arrive.

Twenty minutes later, a man from Jim's Towing arrived to help! The man worked and worked and worked. He took the old tire off and put Nate's donut tire on the car. Then he went over to Heidi's car and tried to unlock it. He poked a wire into the passenger side of the car and pressed the power window button down. He pressed and pressed and pressed, but the window wouldn't budge! After about five minutes of trying, he realized what the problem was... the power windows were locked from the driver's side! He tried on the driver's side and was able to unlock the door in no time! Nate and Heidi had a good laugh about all of this, but the adventure was not quite over yet.

As the man from Jim's Towing was packing up, he noticed a very quiet hissing sound. A quick investigation revealed that Nate's donut tire had a leak in it! Nate couldn't very well drive to his mechanic's garage with a flat donut tire, so the man from Jim's Towing told him that he could tow Nate's car there for free, as it was also covered under his AAA policy. Nate just wanted to go home, so he was reluctant to have his car towed, but ultimately decided it was the best idea. Nate's car was towed and by the time he got home, it was 1am and Nate was very tired. (Get it? TIRED!)

The next morning, Nate's mechanic put new tires on the car and Nate was glad.

THE END
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Uncle Saddam [Dec. 30th, 2006|12:55 pm]
[mood | amused]
[music |James Brown - Soulful Christmas]

Wow... it's official. Saddam Hussein is dead. I'm surprised it happened so quickly. First I heard "within 30 days" then it was "before New Year's" and before I know it, he's fucking dead! Wow! Those Iraqis don't fuck around! Of course, it's not like their legal system was bogged down with lawsuits and shit. This is pretty much their entire agenda for now, so yeah... swift justice.

I'm honestly surprised they actually executed him. I thought this would go on for years and years... there were talks of appeals, a stay of exectution for 3 years. But no, this is the way to do it... get it over with and move on. Time for Iraq to stand on its own. I hope they do well...
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